Lessons from Tupu-ā-Rangi

Tupu-ā-Rangi is one of the stars we can see in our skies at the moment. Tupu-ā-Rangi, a daughter of Matariki, loves to sing and bring life into the dark of the forest.  She reminds us that we all have special gifts which we must share with others to receive the full benefit of being the holder of those gifts.  She also reminds us of the importance of appreciating the gifts that others share with us.  Sometimes it is difficult for parties who are or have been in conflict to appreciate the gifts that the other party may bring to the table. 

Mediators often hear that parties enter mediation with an expectation that they will eventually have to compromise and that that in doing so, they will not achieve something that they believe is “right”. Whilst compromise is an essential tool for mediation, the assumption that compromise means giving up is not always correct.  At Fair Way, our mediators spend time with the parties discussing ways to grow the opportunity for resolution.   As Fisher and Ury say in their book ’Getting to Yes’, the first part of expanding possibilities for settlement is about looking at the needs of the parties.  They use as an example of two people who want to share an orange. The assumption is that each party will get half, however the discussion shows that by looking at each party’s needs it is possible for each to receive what they want.  In this example, one party wants the juice and the other wants the skin.  It is not until each party reveals what they want that the opportunity is created for each to get what they want rather than each getting half of an orange and thereby neither achieving the result they were after.

Tupu-ā-Rangi stands as a reminder to share our talents and information.  Many parties coming to mediation come in fear that they will say too much, they will give too much and that they are not likely to receive. They stay guarded until an environment of trust is created by the mediator. Good faith and honesty are essential to creating great mediated outcomes. The reality is that you get more out of mediation by investing more into it.

At Fair Way, our skilled mediators work with parties to create a confidential environment and assist parties expand their options and opportunities to achieve a mediated result.  If you would like to learn more about Fair Way and our specialist services, phone the team on 0800 77 44 22 or email us at fairwayinfo@fairwayresolution.com