Tamariki and their views

Tamariki and rangatahi are always at the heart of the process.

When making a plan for your whānau, the wellbeing of your tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people) is always at the heart of the process. We ensure their needs are understood and their voices can be heard in a safe, supportive, and age-appropriate way.

Our child-inclusive approach

Research shows that when children's views are considered, parenting plans are stronger and last longer. Our process is 'child-inclusive', which means we help you focus on your children's needs as you make decisions. Our approach depends on the age of your child.

For children aged 5 and under

For younger children, we don't meet with them directly. Instead, we support you — the parents — to understand their developmental needs and what's best for them during a separation. We provide expert resources and guidance to help you create a plan that truly supports your young child.

For children aged 6 and over

For older children, we can offer them the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings directly with a trained professional.

How it works - children aged 6 and over

  • Discussion & consent

    A Child Specialist will talk with you about the process. 

    If everyone (both parents and the child) agrees, we arrange a meeting.

    Get in touch Process

  • Child meeting

    Your child will meet with a local practitioner — our Child Specialists and Voice of Child practitioners are experts in working with children. 

    This is usually a fun and positive session with games and activities, held in a safe, neutral place like their school. It allows them to freely talk about their feelings.

    Chat with us

  • Sharing with parents

    The practitioner who met with your child will then join your mediation session to share feedback on your child's perspective. 

    This helps you both make well-informed, child-focused decisions.

    Meeting

Child participation

  • Children share, adults decide

    It is crucial to understand that this process is about listening to your child, not asking them to make adult decisions.

    • We give them a voice, but not the responsibility of choosing.

    • Children are never asked to attend the mediation or solve disagreements.

    • As the parents, you consider their views and then make the final decisions for your whānau.

  • Why it’s important

    Research tells us that when the views of tamariki and rangatahi are heard and considered, parenting plans are likely to be stronger and last longer.

    It’s also important because tamariki have a right to be involved in the decisions made about their care under New Zealand law.

    It’s proven to have lots of positive impacts, including:

    • Making it easy for your tamariki to have a say in the decisions and arrangements that affect them
    • Respecting your child’s rights
    • Providing parents with an opportunity to learn and understand what’s really going on for their kids
    • Enabling parents to make the best plan for their family
    • Helping tamariki understand how decisions have been made
    • Ensuring that decisions and plans are made with the kids in mind each step of the way.

Children aged 5 and under

Usually younger children, aged 5 and under, are too young to meet or share their views. 

Instead, we encourage you to focus on what’s best for them.

FAQs

  • What are my child’s rights?

    Your tamariki has a right to be involved in the decisions made about their care.

    Under New Zealand legislation, the Family Court (Supporting Children in Court) Act 2021 and Family Dispute Resolution Act 2013 state that a child must be given reasonable opportunities to participate in any decision affecting them. 

    New Zealand is also a signatory to the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child (UNCROC) convention which states that “parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child, the views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child."

  • Do both parents need to agree?

    Generally, yes, we want both parents to be supportive of child participation.

  • I have concerns about my child being coached. Can you help?

    If you have any concerns, please let us know.

    The Child Practitioners have been trained to work with children and have specialist skills to identify and respond in rare cases where this may happen.

  • Are there any additional costs?

    There are no hidden costs. Family Dispute Resolution is free and you have the option of a Child Meeting for tamariki aged 6 and over.

  • What is a Voice of Child?

    In addition to Fair Way’s Child Specialists, we have a wider pool of Voice of Child. These are practitioners who are experienced in meeting with tamariki. In some circumstances a Child Specialist may arrange for a Voice of Child to meet with your tamariki, for example if you have specific cultural needs or if a Voice of Child is based in your area. If this occurs, the Voice of Child will work in collaboration with your Child Specialist to support the child-inclusive mediation process. 

Conciliation Mediation

How mediation works

Mediation is a process that enables all parties involved to talk in a confidential and safe environment. Find out more about the mediation itself.

How mediation works

Back to top