Tamariki and their views

When making a plan for your whānau, tamariki and rangatahi should always be at the heart of the process.

If your child is aged 6 or over, a Child Specialist will talk with you about how your tamariki may be able to participate in the FDR process. This may include arranging a time to meet with your tamariki where they get to share their views and experiences about matters that affect them.

At the child meeting, your child will meet with someone with training and experience in working with tamariki who understands their needs and can safely meet with them. Their role is to help understand each child’s feelings, views and experiences so the parents can keep them front of mind during the mediation.

Child participation

  • Why it’s important

    Research tells us that when the views of tamariki and rangatahi are heard and considered, parenting plans are likely to be stronger and last longer.

    It’s also important because tamariki have a right to be involved in the decisions made about their care under New Zealand law.

    It’s proven to have lots of positive impacts, including:

    • Making it easy for your tamariki to have a say in the decisions and arrangements that affect them
    • Respecting your child’s rights
    • Providing parents with an opportunity to learn and understand what’s really going on for their kids
    • Enabling parents to make the best plan for their family
    • Helping tamariki understand how decisions have been made
    • Ensuring that decisions and plans are made with the kids in mind each step of the way.

  • What to expect

    We know that every whānau is different so our team will talk with you about the ways they can work with you that best suit your whānau. The goal is for child-inclusion to be age appropriate and safe.

    They will share some guidance and resources that you can use to talk to your tamariki about the mediation and check if your tamariki is happy to meet with a practitioner.

    If your tamariki agrees, we’ll appoint someone local to meet with them. 

    They will get in touch and arrange a time to meet with your child. It’s usually a fun and positive experience, with games and activities, where they can freely talk about their feelings and views. They will meet somewhere neutral but safe, for example at school.

    At the joint mediation, the practitioner will join at the beginning to share your child’s views. As experts in children’s development and wellbeing, they might also share some information that you can consider when making a parenting plan. The aim is to help you make the best decisions together for your whānau.

  • Listen but leave the decisions to adults

    While it is important to give your tamariki and rangatahi a chance to share their thoughts and have them considered, we leave the decision making to you as the adults.

    It’s usually not appropriate to have tamariki present at a mediation or to ask them to make decisions. Instead, it’s about giving them a voice, listening and understanding their views.

    As parents and guardians, you are responsible for making plans for your whānau. In the mediation, you can consider what they share and make the best plan for your whānau.

Children aged 5 and under

Usually younger children, aged 5 and under, are too young to meet or share their views. 

Instead, we encourage you to focus on what’s best for them.

FAQs

  • What are my child’s rights?

    Your tamariki has a right to be involved in the decisions made about their care.

    Under New Zealand legislation, the Family Court (Supporting Children in Court) Act 2021 and Family Dispute Resolution Act 2013 state that a child must be given reasonable opportunities to participate in any decision affecting them. 

    New Zealand is also a signatory to the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child (UNCROC) convention which states that “parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child, the views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child."

  • Do both parents need to agree?

    Generally, yes, we want both parents to be supportive of child participation.

  • I have concerns about my child being coached. Can you help?

    If you have any concerns, please let us know.

    The Child Practitioners have been trained to work with children and have specialist skills to identify and respond in rare cases where this may happen.

  • Are there any additional costs?

    There are no hidden costs. Family Dispute Resolution is free and you have the option of a Child Meeting for tamariki aged 6 and over.

  • What is a Voice of Child?

    In addition to Fair Way’s Child Specialists, we have a wider pool of Voice of Child. These are practitioners who are experienced in meeting with tamariki. In some circumstances a Child Specialist may arrange for a Voice of Child to meet with your tamariki, for example if you have specific cultural needs or if a Voice of Child is based in your area. If this occurs, the Voice of Child will work in collaboration with your Child Specialist to support the child-inclusive mediation process. 

Conciliation Mediation

How mediation works

Mediation is a process that enables all parties involved to talk in a confidential and safe environment. Find out more about the mediation itself.

How mediation works

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